I miss being submerged into poetry, and literature. We're starting product training right now and it's darn hard. When I get home from work, I have to occupy my time by studying and refreshing my knowledge about the things we had learned for the day. The most amazing part of this is that I don't even know if I am going to make it pass training and into the floor. I know it is too early to tell, but it's really hard....really hard....really hard......All together now.

But I plan to give it my best, so as to not waste my effort, and my time that I am devoting to this endevour. Weird sometimes when I see people in the streets, pushing karitons and vendors selling stuff on the side of the streets, I feel really sad. Last night when I got off work as I was walking towards my place there was a raid in the palengke. All of the vendors were scurriying away. Some even left their panindas on the street, so the raiders would not arrest them. People should not be treated in this manner. Sure it's illegal....whatever....but really what about those raiders? are they even sanctioned to initiate this type of action? and bottom line is that most of the time, all they want is to receive a cut on the pay of the vendor, that's why they stage the raids. I mean, it's really seems unjust when you take from the poor. They barely have enough to survive as it is. Sure we all need money..I mean that is why I'm working and not lounging on the beach. But still , when you put things in perspective, and even try to put yourself in their shoes...it's so sad, cause you have to deal with it day in and day out.

I know it happens all the time, and I see this all the time; but I never get use to it. It's a part of my landscape that I do not like, but cannot change. It especially hits me when I've just gotten off from work, and spent a great portion of my day in an airconditioned building, mingling with people in mutilated English. It's pretty hilarious, we're basically all being forced to speak English, though most of us bend this rule. It's pretty funny, when every bone in your body wanna speak tagalog but you say English... It makes you feel really self- conscious, and kinda t.h.

You know, I'm just really stressed out, and I just need to speak my mind, and clear my thoughts. I miss the freedom of having full control of my individuality; since at work your actions and mode of behavior pretty much have to be constricted. So I'm talking all of my frustration out of my blog. At work we are being trained to keep our frustatration and anger in, sowe can give the appearance and reassurance that the customers and his concerns are the most important thing in the world, and that all of your attention and strength as a person should be directed towards solving their problems. Even if in the process they create a lot of emotional disturbance for you, since absorbing someone's cynism always takes a toll on your body. I don't care if it's a personal assault or not, it's never fun to be yelled and screamed at and made a prisoner of somebody else' will.

Anyway, enuff of my long and winding run-on sentences. I'm really tired and want to go to sleep, but my mind is too awake to be put to bed. Since I am a night person, my wildest and most vivid impressions of life come to me at this hour.

Good night world.

I made it through a whole week of training. I can't believe it, I'm still alive- exhausted but satisfied that I did my best this week ...to have fun!! hehehe ...too much fun actually that I almost didn't pass my written test. I studied all the questions they didn't ask! I memorized the 50 states of America- its geographical location on the map, and their abbreviation. But voila! that was barely touched upon. I had a ball during training, laughed the whole time and almost froze to death. The room where they held our training has subzero temperature. I swear I almost turned into a human popsicle stick! The third day I was tempted to use a pair of socks as gloves.

I'm currently in training so I haven't been able to update my blog. Maybe on my day offs I'll be able to recount my misadventures at work!! hahahaha!!! .......anyway, training doesn't mean you're hired, so I'm still not setting my heart on this. I'm just doing my best....to try to have fun and keep everything in stride. Fortunately, I'm not in graveyard yet. But once training is over, surely we're going to have that shift.

Hopefully, once call simulation begins, I wouldn't have a..." may I take your order moment." .

...ah nevermind, bad thoughts fly away.

oh my! I accidentally deleted my ukay post!!! :(

Somewhere over the rainbow by Judy Garland

This song kills me. It intensifies my longing to escape, and find that land where blue birds fly. The melody and the words to this song captures the feeling of every dream, every desire, every wish that my heart has made since I was old enough to realize the meaning of sorrow. Incidentally, it also has been adopted as a gay anthem. I think it’s the reference to the rainbow that becomes the link. hehehe

It's amazing to me how some special person can summon up their understanding as a human being, artistic vision as an artist, and talent as musician to create a song as special as this one. Maybe he thought of it in his sleep, or maybe this song was written very early in the morning, still dazed from a dream. Maybe he heard the singing of those blue birds atop his window, beckoning him to come out and follow them to that land..."way above the chimney top that's where you'll find me"... Unbeknownst to birds that human like us don't have wings & can't fly.
...actually this song was composed by Harold Arlen, the lyrics was written by Yip Harburg. It was made famous by Judy Garland in Wizard of Oz. Of course, everyone knows that!

This song sounds especially good after I've just returned from a job interview. I am not really too keen on entering the corporate world. But I think I'll be alright as long as I can separate the essence of who I am as a person, and who I have to be when I have to earn my wages. Like a separation of state and religion- it is possible for the two to exists side by side, as long as one doesn't interfere with the other.

It must be wonderful to have a job that follows the inkling of your artistic inclination. During the job fair, I submitted my resume to Philippine National Inquirer! hahaha! The funny thing was that they were not even there for the job fair. I am not exactly sure what they were there for. But they had a booth, so I took the opportunity para mag-epal. So I just walked past their booth, and sheepishly dropped off my resume on the table. The person manning the booth looked really scary. He had the air of someone really important in his field of expertise, the Filipino version of Perry White chief editor of the Daily Planet, maybe?
Anyway, I have a second interview on Wednesday. I think this one is to assess my typing proficiency. That should be a laugh!!!

I don't know if I'm sad or happy.