lapse in judgment

Recently I’ve been beating myself up, haunted by the same mistakes that I’ve been making over & over again. It’s one thing to make a mistake and learn from it, and another thing to repeat the same one hoping that each time there’ll be a different outcome. A positive outcome, your fairytale outcome.

It’s amazing how many follies one can make when empowered by the strength of delusion. For a split second when you are about to make that choice it’s as if your memories don’t exists. As if the past with all its heartbreaks, bad checks, uncomfortable shoes, launched verbal warfare that you regret seemed like a world away. This is just plain idiocy. Thinking you can escape the consequences of your actions, ‘cause in the end you’re have to pay the price like it or not.

body mapped in white spaces

I am editing this white space. making room for the future. killing memories that have nothing to do with light. I am treading softly in this narrow lake. any moment it will happen.

The desire to leave this place can sometimes be so overwhelming that the view of flying curtains is enough to make you cry.

Mandala Episode One

Death Dance
throught the vastness of time and space. i welcome infinity. i've found heaven in a bluejar. all the stars ever hung in the sky dancing in tandem with everyone i've ever loved. i am drifting in a boat destined to crash into the ocean. brimming with tired love&wisdommy soul fills the gulf of cathedrals: like stars that are about to burst into a wish, we make one last plea for our bodies to be saved. As we explode into a million fragments of light. Our shadows make whirlwinds in the ocean.

Do animals love I wonder?

Whenever I see two penguins walking side by side, both looking elegant in their shiny tuxedos, looking like the happiest creatures on Earth, I wonder. Being on the top of the food chain in the pyramid of sentient beings; if we're really the lucky ones. The society we have created for ourselves- wars we’ve invented, famine, pestilence, hate, apathy…All these things have become inherent in man, that sometimes I ‘ve been convinced into thinking that penguins would do a better job of ruling the world. But then again, when I think about it long and hard; I realize, maybe it’s these things that make it possible for love to exists. Experiencing hate teaches us compassion, living through hardships- sympathy. Amidst the storm of chaos and madness we find the essence of our humanity, we transcend the events, we overcome catastrophes, etc. We find out what it is to be human. If there’s anything I could say if I had to do it over again, is that the trip has definitely been worth it. I just hope that the second time around, I don’t come back as a tiny little sad speckled- bug, that is just begging to be crushed. That would truly be tragic.