news..death..musings..and something with a sun

It was horrible watching the news the other day. The content was pretty much littered with death and outrage about the situation happening in New Orleans. We were tuned in to fox, and I swear for a second even Geraldo looked convincing. I don't know, maybe I was projecting my feelings of sympathy towards those people in the background, and Geraldo with his funny mustache just happened to be standing there in front. So I guess there was some transferance going on.

It is weird how we are glued to our teevee sets whenever something big happens, some catastrophe or human tragedy. It is as if you are watching a spectacle taking place right in front of you & you have front row seats, and you're almost afraid to step away for even a second cause you might miss some juicy detail.

I remember having the same feeling during the 9/11 planesuicidebombings. I was tuned in to CNN, when the second plane crashed into the second building and minutes after the pentagon was on fire. It was so strange how the newscasters stayed so calm. It was surreal, when the two buildings disintegrated into the ground, because at the back of your mind you were thinking that there were still people trapped in those buildings, but nobody was saying anything about it. It's so strange to me this feeling of shock and disbelief...cause what usually follows afterwards is numbness.

Which was what happened to me when I saw this movie...(the title escapes me at the moment..... i think it was a Brazilian movie, though I could be wrong…a semi-documentary. They used real life children to play the gang members. In one of the scenes, there was this young boy, no more than seven, who was instructed to shoot another boy, who was maybe around 4 years old. The problem was he had to choose whether to shoot the 4 year old boy’s hand or foot...) Anyway after the end of the movie, I couldn't react ... I didn't know how. It was a system failure, complete total sensory overload. I mean I couldn't put anything into perspective. I couldn't even tie my shoelaces.

I think it was because of the way they portrayed death and violence in the movie, so commonplace, so unnaturally blase, so real,( which is actually the way it really happens in that part of the world) that made me want to retreat back to the womb.

I found that movie to be so threatening to my personal sense of security, that I really didn't even want to think about it. I mean, for sure I know if I was ever casted in that film I'd be one of the first ones shot. I'd probably even volunteer to go first, just to get it over with. .......why for the life of me can't I remember the title.... it is something with a sun.....

I keep on thinking children of the sun...but that's not it, that's the last cut in bamboo's newest album. Anyway, if anyone knows the title of that movie, let me know okay? So I can stop obsessing about it.